I'm so mad I'm crying
Mar. 2nd, 2005 04:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kriscatOur next door neighbour is 81. E has been a constant in my life for as long as I remember. Sort of an extra grandma. Six years a go she had a stroke and since then she hasn't quite been the same. She has a hard time finding the right words in a conversation and sometimes mix up the week days. Now she gets one meal a day delivered and we or her sister does her grocery shopping. She also goes to activities at the retirement home twice a week. Her daughter, J, helps her paying her bills. Thats all she does. Yesterday she called E and told her a lady from the elderly care would visit her. She didn't say why. When the lady and J came, it turned out it was because J thought it was time for E to live at a home.
Now, I'm not an expert and I'm certainly not objective in this, so I can't say if E is so unwell she needs to move. But not telling her until the investigation starts? That's so low.
And apparently the reasons why E can't stay is:
1. that J has to do so much work. She pays the bills and might visit once or twice a month. That's it.
2. The house needs an outside renovation. That house has needed that for the last ten years.
3. E disturbs the neighbours. E doesn't even visit us unless she's been invited because 'she doesn't want to be in the way'. We call and ask if she needs anything from the store, or if she wants to come in for a cup of coffee becaus we love her, not out of some kind of duty she's forced upon us.
In Sweden we have one of the worlds largest taxes. That gives our old and sick the right to live at home as long as possible with home help if needed. My mother had MS and could in the end only move one hand and she lived at home with home help several times a day. E is nowhere near that. And her mental state and confusion is not so bad one need to worry she'll start wandering away or not knowing where she is.
Also, E's daughter and adult grand daughter lives on the same freaking street that we do. Her grand daughter just across the road. And we have more contact with E than they do. E's elderly sister and her husbands drives a couple miles(metric system miles) and visits her almost every weekend and takes her grocery shopping. E's daughter and grand daughter does as little as they can, and it just sucks that the government is more likely to listen to them because they're the closest relatives.
E was so upset and does not want to leave. But in her shoes, going against her only child is hard. So E will probably move to a home. And maybe it will be for the best for her. And knowing J, I have to doubt her motives. I have a feeling she's more interested in getting the house than E's well being. I could be wrong, but over the years, J has always seemed to treat E as a burden than anything else. But it's not easy to see into someone elses mind and maybe J had good intentions, but she sure could've handled it better than to spring it out of the blue on E.
Now, I'm not an expert and I'm certainly not objective in this, so I can't say if E is so unwell she needs to move. But not telling her until the investigation starts? That's so low.
And apparently the reasons why E can't stay is:
1. that J has to do so much work. She pays the bills and might visit once or twice a month. That's it.
2. The house needs an outside renovation. That house has needed that for the last ten years.
3. E disturbs the neighbours. E doesn't even visit us unless she's been invited because 'she doesn't want to be in the way'. We call and ask if she needs anything from the store, or if she wants to come in for a cup of coffee becaus we love her, not out of some kind of duty she's forced upon us.
In Sweden we have one of the worlds largest taxes. That gives our old and sick the right to live at home as long as possible with home help if needed. My mother had MS and could in the end only move one hand and she lived at home with home help several times a day. E is nowhere near that. And her mental state and confusion is not so bad one need to worry she'll start wandering away or not knowing where she is.
Also, E's daughter and adult grand daughter lives on the same freaking street that we do. Her grand daughter just across the road. And we have more contact with E than they do. E's elderly sister and her husbands drives a couple miles(metric system miles) and visits her almost every weekend and takes her grocery shopping. E's daughter and grand daughter does as little as they can, and it just sucks that the government is more likely to listen to them because they're the closest relatives.
E was so upset and does not want to leave. But in her shoes, going against her only child is hard. So E will probably move to a home. And maybe it will be for the best for her. And knowing J, I have to doubt her motives. I have a feeling she's more interested in getting the house than E's well being. I could be wrong, but over the years, J has always seemed to treat E as a burden than anything else. But it's not easy to see into someone elses mind and maybe J had good intentions, but she sure could've handled it better than to spring it out of the blue on E.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-04 10:10 am (UTC)Beth and Jesse